Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Love Languages

My bloggy friend Jess is doing a giveaway for Gary Chapman's book, "The Five Love Languages". You should head over to her blog (after reading this post of course) and enter to win! She's such a sweet mom and has the most adorable little lady, Mia. Love that name, so sassy. :)

Anyways, since she brought up the book, I thought I'd blog about MY love languages and perhaps find out about yours too. :)

First off, if you've never read this book, DO IT! I think it should be required reading before you can get a marriage license. :) Understanding your "love language" is crucial for successful relationships in life, not only in marriage. You gotta understand what makes people feel loved and appreciated.
The five love languages are as follows:
quality time
receiving gifts
acts of service
physical touch
words of affirmation
Before I had Emersyn, I would say that my number one love language was words of affirmation, hands down. Say something nice or complimentary to me and I melt into a puddle of appreciation. :) I had/have this game with Brett where I hold up three fingers randomly and he knows that means he has to give me three compliments. Poor guy, ha ha. He almost always says the same three things too, bless his heart. After seven years of marriage, and eight years together, I have slowly started to modify this love language. I KNOW that Brett loves me, just expressing it into words isn't his thing. Once I also made him play "The ABC's of Affirmation" (feel free to steal the idea ladies, ha!) on a long drive home from Seattle and we each had to name something that we loved about each other from A to Z. As I type this out, I realize what an amazing husband I have for being so willing to go along with my silly needy ways. :)

Now that I have had Emersyn, I think acts of service are my number one love language. I came home a couple months ago and Brett had deep cleaned our bedroom and bathroom and I nearly blacked out from joy. No joke. It was a better gift then any flowers or heck, even jewelry. When Brett does things around the house without being asked, that's what makes me feel loved.

I still love me some words of affirmation though (Brett in case your reading...I haven't given up on you!!!). Physical touch is also important to me, more so now that I have Ems. Funny how motherhood changes you in so many ways.

Brett's love language is quality time for sure. If I sit on the couch, hold his hand, and watch a movie he is a happy camper and feels loved. My tendency is to get up, clean something, read a magazine, get on the laptop, etc. This does not make him feel loved. I have learned this through the years. He is into acts of service too, like I've said before, making his lunch = wife of the year status for that day for sure.

Now that I have Emersyn, I am learning what her love languages are too. She loves one on one attention so my guess would be quality time right now. She loves dancing and is always saying, "watch, watch!!!". She loves to dance on her rocking horse thingy. She goes and gets on it and says, "mommy sit right there" and asks me to watch her dance. She also loves words of affirmation. Whenever she's doing anything silly I say, go Emmy, go Emmy and she just LOVES it. She is her mama's daughter for sure.

What are YOUR love languages? :)


OurLittleBlessingS said...

thanks for the shout out! (make sure you leave a comment, if you win-you could give it to a friend!)

i love this book and we're only in the first 5 chapters! i also think it should be required before marriage to and reread throughout it! you do change!!!
i am just like you..when we were first married, it was definately words/affirmations.

now, since being a mom, i would also say service. i love it when he fixes things, takes the trash out, gets up with mia, lets me take a nap, changes diapers(since i stay home-i do the majority of mia things), helps with cleaning, my car, anything. love it. i'm also quality time too.

him-he's physical touch! lol.

we also discussed mia's 'love tank being full', and how she demands attention when she 'needs' love and we aren't giving it to her.

i sure wish we lived closer!

Jules said...

I absolutely love this book. We give it as a wedding gift to every wedding we go to. It has enhanced our marriage sooooo much. I am acts of service and quality time. My hubs is words of affirmation and physical touch.

Melissa said...

i agree, this is a great book! My love languages are definitely Quality Time & Words of Affirmation.

Jocelyn said...

Physical touch and words of affirmation.

I love figuring out the love languages of my students so I can connect with them. :)