Me

Fall 2013 has brought some different variables into my life.....for one, Emersyn is in school four days a week and from 9-1. Love the *late* start compared to a lot of other schools and also love the extended day that includes her eating lunch at school. I've enjoyed packing her healthy lunches in the mornings.

I'm enjoying the quality time with my boy in the mornings, whether is be spent drinking coffee, watching Sesame Street and playing or me catching up on emails while Everett has some independent play time. Emersyn was so great at entertaining herself, I want Everett to have that skill as well even though he often has an older sister playmate around.

Bible Study started back up on Tuesday mornings and Wednesday nights are up and running again with classes for the kids and choir for mama.

I'm no longer babysitting the two kiddos that I once was...I can't remember if I've already talked about this in my blog but if I haven't there you have it. This came as a shock in a way, happened almost overnight as the mom decided it was time for her to stay home. I'd watched the little guy since he was 6 months (so for two years) and then his little sister had just joined the party. I never thought I would be a day care provider per say but I really enjoyed having the kiddos around and REALLY enjoyed the freedom that the income provided to accomplish certain financial goals and have some guilt free Starbucks money.

Not babysitting anymore has thrown me for a loop which surprised me. Babysitting days were like *work* and then the days off were just that...days off. Now I'm always *off*? Yet as every mama knows, there are never really days *off*. ;) I'm trying to make the best of this situation. Yes, I still do real estate but that doesn't take up enough time to feel like a work day. I can do that here and there throughout the week.

I liked having defined days off and now having every day off like I said before is just interesting.

I'm not complaining. Lord knows I prayed for these days to come back when I was working for an insurance company and longing to be home with my baby girl. I can truly look around and say, "look what God has done!". However, it's a thankless season at times.

Brett is starting school up and will be physically in class two nights a week, plus the kids and I go to church on Wednesday. Not only will he be gone on those nights, but then when he's home he will be busy with homework from his other two classes. I'm somewhat dreading the start of Brett's school but excited for him too. I want to do the best I can to support him and be an awesome mama to his kids. The days are just long when Daddy doesn't come home for dinner.

I've determined that the Lord has given me a gift in this season and I might be mistaking it for something else, something like a burden. For the first time in my life as a mother, I actually have time. I have time to clean. I have time to read to my children. I have time to meal plan. I have time to make healthy recipes. I have time to play. And yet, it is tiring! I have had a very productive week so far around the house, yet when I look around certain areas are still a mess. It feels impossible to keep up with sometimes.

Something else I have time for is ME. On the evenings when Brett is gone at school I will have more than enough time to read, pray, and just hang out with the Lord. I can read magazines. I can pursue other hobbies like maybe even busting out my sewing machine that I got for Christmas a few years ago and have yet to use....sad face. I am back on my TSFL program and need to concentrate to be successful at that. And I have the time to do that. It's a strange feeling.

This post is probably a whole lot of rambling but I just needed to vent and process. I have such huge expectations of what I think a *successful* SAHM's house looks like and my house is no where near that standard. But my children are happy and healthy, what more could I ask for?

I'm praying that this unique season wouldn't be wasted by me feeling sorry for myself and wishing Brett was just done with school and into a higher paying job. God has me right where He wants me and there are lessons to learn along the way, lessons I wouldn't want to skip if I knew how important they were.