*Everyone knows that you do NOT try out a new self tanner right before a MAJOR LIFE EVENT. I could just leave it at that but I'll elaborate for your amusement......I posted on Facebook a couple weeks before my brother's wedding to find out the best sunless tanners out there. 95% of my friends suggested "Jergens Natural Glow" lotion. It wasn't me who completely disregarded all my friends advice (the advice that I solicited mind you) and decided to buy a Neutragena spray tanner instead. It also wasn't ME who decided to wait until the Wednesday night before the wedding (which was on a Friday) to have my husband spray me down. I figured he can spray paint decently, this would be similar, right?!?
Upon waking up on Thursday morning, it wasn't ME who looked like a streaky orange/white MESS!!!!! I didn't wake Brett up frantically, showing him my newly acquired stripes. And I certainly didn't frantically start googling "how to remove sunless tanner". One of the remedies was to take a bath in baking soda and baby oil. After soaking for 20 minutes and seeing no results, I decided to get out, telling Brett to be SURE to clean the tub behind me.
Life had to go on and we had to go pick up my cousin from the airport. I put on some pants and a hoodie and thanked my lucky stars that I had enough sense to NOT put the sunless tanner on my face. On our way to the airport, I confirmed that Brett had indeed cleaned out the bathtub, the bathtub that the groom-to-be was going to use that morning. It wasn't my husband that FORGOT to clean out the deadly baby oiled tub!!! I frantically called my brother and prayed that he hadn't already broken his neck on the slick fiberglass death trap and luckily he answered the phone and heeded my warning. :)
I called a tanning salon who recommended using Windex. It wasn't ME who used nearly half a bottle of windex over the next couple of days, scrubbing down my striped body and prayed for forgiveness for being SO foolish!!!
P.S. The Windex actually worked. If you looked super closely at my skin, you could see some remnant streaks but it wasn't noticeable at a glance. Hall-le-lu-jah!!!
*It wasn't my husband who made us THIRTY minutes late for pictures on the wedding day because he waited until THAT afternoon to pick up his shoes!!!!
*It wasn't me who pulled into my next door neighbors driveway last week while deep in thought, ha!
*It wasn't me who went to bake some yummy applesauce muffins, only to realize that I had used ALL my baking soda during the sunless tanner fiasco.....