*Being the perfect housewife, I am always on top of the grocery shopping. So it is safe to say that I definitely didn't make a box of rice pilaf for lunch on Saturday afternoon because there was literally nothing else in the house to eat. I would never eat such an unbalanced lunch! After all, I have a picture of the nutrition pyramid hanging in my kitchen as a guide for all meals that I serve.
*Most mornings, Emersyn wakes up before we do. Do I ever pretend to sleep through her crying just so my husband will get up and get her some warm milk? Nope, not me!
*One morning last week, I heard some suspicious grunting while Emersyn was in the bathtub and I was in the hall right outside the bathroom folding laundry. I glanced at the tub and saw my dainty daughter standing against the wall and saw some number two starting to make it's way out of her rear end. Trust me, I am NOT the kind of mother that would let her daughter continue on her journey toward bowel relief JUST so I could run and get the camera. That would be disgusting. And upon running back up the stairs (which totally didn't make me out of breath for a good few minutes) I didn't then take a picture of the crime scene. What kind of a mother would take a picture of such a thing??? (Side note: after receiving some anonymous comments, I want to clarify that she was NOT alone in the tub, I sit in the doorway, folding laundry into the hall but she is in my eyesight 100% of the time...I did run and grab the camera but this was a 15 second task and one I would have never done when she was younger and not able to support herself. Thank you for your concern)
Okay, well maybe I did.....clearly Emerysn is not impressed with me at this point...she's like "Mom....I totally just pooped...you gonna do anything about it??"*The first word that people think of when they think of me is mild-mannered. Okay, that is two words. So naturally, I absolutely never have hormonal bursts of rage towards my husband for no apparent reason. One night last week, I for sure didn't totally lash out at my husband and then proceed to challenge him to a game on the Wii Active to get out some of my aggression. While playing the Wii, I definitely didn't almost black out while playing the boxing game out of sheer determination to beat him. And when I did beat him, I definitely didn't gloat about it. I am very humble when it comes to games and competition. And I am in such good shape that now, two days later, I am NOT still totally sore. My forearm muscles feel great in fact, not an ounce of pain for me!!
*On Wednesday I met a friend at the mall for coffee. While drinking coffee in the courtyard area, I most certainly did not let Emersyn loudly and obnoxiously scoot a chair all around the echoing area just so I could have an adult conversation (shouted over the chair scooting of course). Nope, not me! I would never let my child disturb anyones peace and quiet like that! I also didn't change my daughter on the offending chair to save myself a trip to the restroom when I noticed a suspicious bulge peeking out of her backside. Not me, that would be SO tacky!!
It seems as Emersyn gets older, I start to have more "Not Me" moments.....funny how that works! :)
Happy Monday everyone!
