Mom & Gigi's visit

Many of you know that my Grandma has lung cancer. She is in hospice care now and she's chosen not to pursue any further treatment. Last week my mom called to see if her and Gigi could come out for a short visit (per the hospice nurse's recommendation) and of course I said yes! I quickly rearranged our schedules, made some phone calls, canceled some plans, and got really excited to see my mom and Gigi.

I have to be honest though, on the way to the airport I started to panic a little. When we left my parents house in July, I didn't have to say "goodbye" to Gigi.....instead, we said "see you later" and hoped for another visit maybe in January. It gave me a lot of relief to not have that pressure of saying "goodbye". Since July, Gigi's health has worsened and I knew that this visit would likely be "goodbye". I cried on the way to the airport and kind of started to dread the visit, and fearful of what I was going to have to face.

When we picked up Gigi and Mom, Gigi seemed pretty out of it. My grandma is sassy. She has an amazing sense of humor, thinks "The Office" is hilarious, and got Brett and I on into the dry humor of Christopher Guest's movies (Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, etc.) Gigi was very quiet and sleepy. Apparently, she took an anti-anxiety medication on the plane to help with the flight and it left her very drugged. We took my mom, Gigi, and Ems home and then Brett and I ran to get some groceries. When we got home, Gigi had returned to a little more of a normal state which was a relief.

Immediately my sense of fear and anxiety over the visit ceased once I was able to get home and spend time with my mom and grandma. I am so grateful for the precious memories that we have created this weekend. We have been house bound for much of the visit, with one trip to Fred Meyers. :) I have been doing some baking and making some yummy homemade dinners for my family and it feels good.

For Emersyn's birthday, my friend Amancia gave her some paints and a canvas (along with a really cute T-Ball set...love it!!). I decided to save the canvas for Gigi's visit and yesterday Emersyn and Gig created a masterpiece. I was very emotional, watching Ems and Gigi just enjoy each other so much. Emersyn truly loves her Gigi. Whenever Gigi leaves the room, Ems goes looking for her. She goes upstairs with my mom and helps get Gigi to bed. It's really precious. Brett pointed out to me that we are so lucky that Emersyn knows any of her great grandparents and we just need to reflect on that blessing. Still, it doesn't make it easy.

I have so enjoyed spending some quality time with my mom and grandma. My sweet Gigi has left quite a legacy. It's neat looking at four generations all in one room. My Gigi has always been a hands on grandma and I couldn't have asked for a better great grandma for my daughter. I want to write my Gigi a letter soon to express my love and appreciation for her but I need to emotionally prepare for that. It has been a draining couple of days,
just a lot to wrap my mind around.

I am so grateful for the hope and faith that I have. I know that my Gigi is going to heaven and that I WILL see her again, and for that I can find joy. Say a prayer if you think about it tomorrow afternoon when I take my mom and Gigi to the airport.

It's not a moment I am looking forward to.

"The LORD your God is with you,
He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
He will quiet you with his love,
He will rejoice over you with singing."
Zeph. 3:17