Two Months

Dear Everett,

I cannot believe you are TWO months old already!! You are the sweetest baby boy and I stare at you every day in amazement. You are such a blessing to your mommy, daddy and big sister.

You are a very expressive little boy. You are most often scowling and frowning and I think it's hilarious. Your sister was the same way. You often look as though you are carefully scrutinizing the situation you are in. It's so stinkin' cute!!

This is you and I with our friends Miss Jonette and Emma. Emma is only 6 days older then you are! You are destined to be buddies. We took this picture at Miss Jonette's birthday party. For only being two months old, you have been to your fair share of celebrations already. :)

I love wearing you in the Moby wrap! It is so fun to be able to snuggle with you and walk around hands free. This picture was taken at our first (of three) pumpkin patch trips. You are too little to really have fun at the pumpkin patch but next year you will love looking at the animals and maybe even get to go on the cow train with Emersyn!

During your second month of life we celebrated your daddy's 31st birthday! We made him a special dinner and you were such a good boy by napping and letting me make my very first cheesecake for him!

Emersyn LOVES snuggling with you. She asks to hold you all the time and I've caught her grabbing you and rolling over with you. I'm not sure this is the safest activity but it's making you a tough boy I'm sure. She just adores you and is so good with you. Oftentimes if you are getting fussy she will give you a binky, sing to you, say "it's okay schweety pie" and rock you in the swing if it's turned off. You are so lucky to have a sister that loves you so much. I pray that you grow into being the best of buddies!

You had your first trip to the Apple Farm with your buddy Grace who is 4 months older then you, your sister and her two buddies.

You wore your first button up and sweater vest. This will be the first of many occurrences. You looked SO handsome!!!! (You did wear pants for the record, I just took this picture after I had changed your diaper and thought your chubby thighs deserved a picture!) :)

Emersyn decided to share one of her babies with you and put the blanket on you both one afternoon.

I could just eat your cheeks!!!!!

Snoozin' at the pumpkin patch.

Mommy had a meeting that I couldn't take you to last week so you had your first bottle! You've had several bottles now and you do great! Emersyn wanted to give you a bottle one night so we let her. She just loved feeding her brother!

I feel like this picture should win some sort of award. The expression on your face is hilarious to me. We took this picture at Starbucks on the way to church on your two month birthday. You looked so handsome in your fall shirt that I bought for you a couple weeks ago.

Your stats:

*Still not sure of how much you weigh. I'll find out in a couple weeks at your doctor appointment. It's safe to say you are growing well though. :)

*You are wearing a size 2 diaper now but it's on the bigger side. You pee a lot so I decided to upgrade the diaper size to contain it better.

*I need to go through your clothes and start cycling in the 6 months sized things. You can still wear 3 months but the jammies are getting snug length wise. You are a tall boy!

*You love taking baths and the sound of the water is soothing to you.

*You eat about every two hours but if you're in your car seat you can go longer. This is great for when we run errands when Emersyn is in preschool.

I love you so so very much sweetheart!!!

Love, Mama

Smiley Boy

Everett David...

He lights up my life, looks into my eyes and makes me swoon....and he burps and toots like a full grown man. It makes me laugh out loud literally. How can big sounds come out of such a sweet little boy??

I just adore him.

Wordless Wednesday

One of my favorite pictures.

Preschool Field Trip

Love wearing my sweet baby!

(For those of my friends who know Caitlin and are confused, she's wearing a little girl she watches)

This is Emersyn's preschool class at their first field trip to the pumpkin patch. Aren't they sweet? I didn't bring my camera (*gasp*) due to logistics of wearing Everett and not wanting to keep track of an expensive camera but another mom was braver then I. :) Thanks for the picture Caitlin!

MIscellany Monday

{1} I'm thinking about challenging myself to blog each day in November. Could this actually happen? We'll see. I've enjoyed daily blogging challenges in the past and it kind of forces me to focus in a good way. I'm hoping I'll muster up the motivation to do it over the next couple of weeks.

{2} Last week we went to the Apple Farm with a couple friends, including Emery who we went with last year. Remember these two sweeties?

Well, they are a year older and this year pretty much refused to cooperate with their mother's wishes for a repeat photo shoot. That's okay though, I know that as a three year old there are a lot more fun things to do in life then stop and take a picture! We did get one pretty cute shot though....

Aren't they just angelic looking? Then just a mere seconds later.....

I'm not exactly sure what happened here, I just know that a fight slightly broke out and I don't think that Emersyn was involved initially but then she freaked out and ended up smacking Emery in the head which resulted in Emery bawling which resulted in Emersyn bawling and Isabelle looking on a little confused. Naughty girls. We had a fun time overall, though I was a little exhausted when we got home. :)

{3} This weekend I committed to cleaning my upstairs. I deep cleaned my room and bathroom (which hadn't been done since Everett was born, eeeek) and then picked up the kids rooms, cleaned their bathroom and vacuumed. I decided to enlist some help with the toilet cleaning and Emersyn was thrilled to help!


{4} Last night we went to some friends house for dinner and they wanted to introduce us to a new game called, "Dominion". It's kind of like "The Settlers of Catan" if you are familiar with that kind of game. Anyways, I wasn't sure if we would be able to play given we had a three year old, 16 month old and 7 week old in our midst. But it totally worked out!! I was thrilled because Joe and Carissa are pretty chill about distractions like we are and so we totally played a whole game for an hour amidst random spurts of fighting over toys, crying, etc. It was great and I loved the game!

Everett hanging out with Miss Carissa :)

{5} Emersyn is very into Bibles lately. She pretends that any smaller book is a Bible and likes to pretend to do chapel with her babies like she goes to at preschool. I heard her in her room the other day saying, "who here has a Bible at home?" which I suspect is what the pastor asks during chapel. She found a Bible that is Brett's on a shelf below his nightstand and asked me if she could borrow it. I told her yes and look how happy she is about it. :)

{6} I love how God works. I know that sometimes He likes to bless me with fun things that are like a form of Him winking at me. For instance, I have been waiting for Emersyn's quilt at Pottery Barn Kids to arrive since June/July. It JUST got here last Friday. It's not that big of a deal since it's not like we've had time to paint or anything but still, I was really glad to hear that the quilt had finally come in. Get this though, the day that it came in just happened to be during their once a year unadvertised friends and family event where the ENTIRE store is 20% off!!! Are you kidding me?? I was ecstatic when the lady on the phone told me that when she called to tell me the quilt was in. I hate buying anything full price but I knew that the quilt wasn't going to be going on sale anytime soon because it's been back ordered for so long. A store isn't going to put something on sale that they keep selling out of. 20% off, thank you Lord!!!!!

{7} Speaking of Pottery Barn Kids, I LOVE this bathroom set.

Isn't it adorable and gender neutral?? Maybe after we Emersyn's big girl room done we could tackle the guest bathroom and make it more of a kids bathroom. We'll see. The PBK stuff is pretty pricey though, I may have to improvise with some other options. :)

{8} I told Brett that we need to go to Ikea soon yesterday. Emersyn was in the same room but playing with some toys. She started singing "Ikea was a wee little man, and a wee little man was he". I think she got Ikea and Zaccheus confused, ha ha.

{9} Everett has slept 8 hours for two nights in a row. I consider that "sleeping through the night" big time!!!!!! Yesterday morning I woke up in shock! I was able to pump too which is great since I only just started pumping yesterday and I have to leave Everett for about 4 hours this week which is too long for him to go without milk. Between yesterday and this morning I have 8 ounces for him, perfect! By Thursday I might even have a little extra so we could go on a date this weekend!! I would love a date night.

{10} "Sister Wives" is my Monday afternoon guilty pleasure. I like to watch it during nap time. I don't really have any shows that I watch on my own and this one Brett refuses to watch and that's saying a lot because I don't think he has ever refused to watch a show with me. It is such a strange show and concept but so intriguing.

{11} Last night we got home kinda late and when I came in to the front door I thought that my living room was on fire. I quickly realized that it was not on fire but that I had put the flameless candles on my mantle on a timer and forgot so they were on and reflecting in the sliding glass door. It was scary and funny at the same time.

{12} Okay, the amount of miscellany that has just occurred might be too much. I guess that's what I get for only blogging once a week. :)

Time out for Mommy

It's taken me a bit to get into a groove with two kids but what I thought would be impossible has finally been achieved.....simultaneous nap times, hallelujah. It seemed like Emersyn was phasing out of the nap stage of life but praise Jesus, I was able to coerce her back into it. She usually sleeps for 2+ hours so I know she still needs them more then she might think. Everett takes amazing naps in his crib while swaddled so we have this wonderful little afternoon routine going. Ems eats lunch, I feed Everett, Ems plays for a big, Everett has awake time, then I put both kids down and they go go sleep for usually at least two hours. During this time I've been working on things for my women's retreat at my church, dealing with insurance stuff, working on real estate, making phone calls, etc. I haven't been as good about housework during nap time because I feel like I can kind of do that kind of stuff while kids are awake, although it isn't easy. Something about my silent house during naps beckons me to work on things that I absolutely cannot do when they are awake, like make phone calls.

Today and yesterday I have been feeling a little weary. Oftentimes our mornings are full of fun activities, playdates, preschool, errands, etc. Emersyn and I aren't good at staying home even though we really need to more often. I find you have to actually be home in order to get things done around your house, go figure. Plus, Emersyn naps much better when she's had a busier morning. But when I have a busy morning, I get a little tired and go figure, I had a baby 7 weeks ago and haven't really had that much sit and rest time (although is that even possible with two kids??).

This afternoon I put my kids down and looked around at the mess that is my house. There are dishes to be done, groceries to still unload from my van (non refridgerated stuff of course), laundry to do, bathrooms that desperately need to be cleaned, friends to email, vacuuming, dusting, etc. But today I remembered something that occurred to me while I was feeding Everett the other day. I can only give to my kids what I put into myself. Sometimes when I'm nursing I'll start thinking about everything I've eaten that day, or oftentimes, things I haven't eaten (like breakfast a lot of the time) and I feel bad. How can Everett be getting the right nutrition if I'm not putting nutrition into my body to pass along to him?

And so this afternoon during nap time, I'm sitting in my living room with toys and dirty dishes silently taunting me but I'm getting some spiritual nutrition so that I am able to pass that down to my kids, even if that's just through an attitude adjustment. I am no good to my kids when my house is clean but I am frazzled and exhausted. Also, I always feel like me being weary is the Lord calling me to rely on Him for strength and not myself. I am a go getter and have no problems go go go-ing all the time. But every once in a awhile, like today, fatigue and exhaustion hit and I know it's God tapping me on the shoulders to re-focus. This afternoon I am being obedient to that shoulder tapping and opening up the Word, my book, and I'm going to even just be still and see what the Lord has for me this afternoon. I'm giving myself a time out. :)

Fear

**Warning, this is kind of a downer post**

So I am several weeks late to this blog post link up but better late then never, right? I'm excited to be reading the book pictured above, along with other ladies at the (in)courage virtual book club. And go figure, since I committed to reading it, the Lord has provided brief snippets of time for me to read. I struggle with knowing how to prioritize things in life but that's a whole other blog post, right? :)

The gals that are facilitating the book club asked it's members to write about our fears since that is what this book is all about.

I have found that as I get older, I worry more and more. Probably a LOT has to do with the fact that I am a mother now and that has softened my heart quite a bit. As a teenager and even young adult, I definitely feared some things in life, like being single forever or not ever having kids but those weren't REAL fears, more just worries. They weren't life or death issues either, more just an issue about my happiness and personal fulfillment. It was easy for me to trust God with those *fears* though, and again, I use the term fear lightly in that situation.

But as I've gotten older and learned how powerful the love is between a husband and wife and a mother and children, my fears have intensified greatly to the point of being exhausted over them at times. For instance, as I write this, my son is asleep upstairs in his crib and my stomach is in knots over whether or not he is breathing. I've done everything right to prevent SIDS, we've got the breathable bumper, fan on, I don't smoke, etc. But still, bad things happen to good people and I can't control God's plan. I worried about SIDS with Emersyn but it's so much worse this time around. In fact, on the way home from the hospital I remember tearing up thinking that I just didn't want to get too attached to Everett because if something happened to him I would be just devastated and maybe if I didn't love him too much he wouldn't be taken away from me. Absurd, right? I know, totally irrational and probably largely hormonal but still, it's a very real fear for me.

We go to Central Oregon usually a couple times a year and the drive there is very curvy, in the mountains and often through inclimate weather depending on the time of year. I have a fear of driving in general, but on this drive in particular I am always sick with worry. It doesn't help that my neighbors and their son were killed in an accident on this particular drive, leaving behind two teenage children. I can't help but think of them whenever we make this drive.

My in-laws live pretty close to me and the quickest way to get to their house is on a two lane back country road that scares me to death, especially when I am not driving. When I am driving, I feel more in control but when Brett comes home on that road late at night, I am beside myself with worry. I forbid him to pass people on this road and sometimes he forgets to warn me that he is going to pass someone and it completely freaks me out and I usually start bawling because it so traumatic to me. I just fear car accidents and a large part of this is because I was in an accident a couple years ago and since then, being a passenger in a car is really hard for me at times.

I struggle with fear pretty much any time that Emersyn isn't with me. Will she choke on something when I'm not there to cut up her food into mircroscopic pieces? Will she be with someone that won't keep an eye on her and she'll run into the street and get hit by a car? Will she find a coin in a room and choke on it?

I struggle with fear in large crowds due to the sad world we live in and the terrorist events that only seem to get more frequent.

I *sorta* struggle with the fear of dissappointing my husband and children, not living up to my fullest potential in life, etc. but those fears are so much easier to manage because I have a say in them. They are something I CAN control.

I guess a lot of fear is about control in a way, or lack thereof. I do think that a big reason why I am so fearful a lot of the time is because of how easy it is to see all the terrible things that happen in the world via the internet. I have read SO many blogs about mom's losing babies to SIDS, pediatric cancer, etc. My Twitter feed is always full of news stories about car accidents, home invasions, etc.

The part that is so discouraging is that to me, this kind of fear will never end if I don't change my way of thinking. We will only go on on MORE trips as life progresses, it's not like if we just get here, this fear will end. I think of that every time we drive to central Oregon...I worry so much on the way there, then breathe a sigh of relief, and then remember that we have to drive home which is a whole other set of worries. My children will only grow up to be older and I will lose more and more control over their safety. I shudder to think of them driving on their own someday. I'm going to have to invest in some knee pads during that phase of life because on my knees praying is pretty much where I'll be anytime they leave the house.

I know this has been kind of a downer post and I'm sorry for that but I'm really praying that this book and me spending some time really seeking out God's answers to these fears will help me. I am a rational person and I know that things can happen. I know that Brett, Everett and Emersyn aren't *mine*, they belong to God and I can't control how long I get to enjoy them here on earth. I pray every single day that it's for a very long time of course, but I also have to hold them with an open palm and give them back to God everyday. Without a faith, I don't know how people even leave their houses. It's a scary world out there.

If you struggle with any of the same fears I do, I'd love for you to go through this book with me. My BFF in Idaho is going to be reading it as well. :)

Tuesday Ramblings

For the record, I started this on Sunday afternoon....just haven't gotten around to finishing it until today. :)

Annabel, Emersyn and Everett with their 95 year old Great Grandmother!

*I am sick. I have an icky cold and I'm totally feeling sorry for myself, as I always do when I get sick. Emersyn got to spend the day yesterday with her Auntie Breezy because I just didn't have it in me to take care of two children. I am thankful for family nearby that love and take care of my daughter. Another reason that I am feeling sorry for myself is that my son isn't even 6 weeks old yet and I am exclusively breastfeeding and yet, a certain monthly visitor has decided to start visiting again. Seriously!?!?!

Emersyn *feeding* her baby. She had to completely take her dress off to acheive this. Ha! We were at her great grandparents nursing home and we told her it was time to leave and she said she needed to feed her baby first. Silly girl

*Emersyn is doing so great in preschool. I really think that Everett's birth triggered a big growth spurt in her emotionally. She's come out of her shell quite a bit. She used to be really shy even with our friends but she has started responding when strangers out in public ask her about her baby brother or even ask her what her name is. This is big progress. Yesterday we were in a bike store and she was tearing around the shop on a bike that was a little too big for her but she was fearless. Just a few weeks before Everett was born we had tried to get her to just sit on a bike in the store and she wouldn't. Seeing her ride so confidently made me realize how much she has grown up. She will pray for our food even when other people are around (again, progress) and she sings all the time.

Emersyn does her own make up.

*We started potty training the week that preschool started and she's done really well for the most part with just a few accidents here and there. She is in big girl panties 100% of the time except for overnight. She still won't poop in the potty despite my repeated bribery attempts but she will go in a pull up. I used to think she would NEVER go on the potty.

*Kohls has Fisher Price toys for 40% off. We got the kids 4 of the bigger Little People sets, the firestation, ferris wheel, race track and castle. We also got to use a 30% off our transaction coupon, PLUS got $20 in "Kohl's Cash" which is like a gift card, no minimum purchase required. When all was said and done we got $100 worth of Little People toys for $22. Amazing!!!!! I am so excited to get them out for Ems. We're going to open the fire station first, then another one next month, etc. Spread out the fun. She is so into imaginative play right now, it's really sweet. Everett will loves these toys someday too!!

*I feel like I'm starting to get Everett somewhat on a schedule. It's happened naturally, not anything I planned and I'm thankful for that because Emersyn was never really on a schedule. He sleeps a lot in the morning which is nice because we are often running errands, going to preschool, etc. and he loves his car seat. Then I feed him right after I put Emersyn down for a nap around 1:30 and swaddle him in his crib and he will usually sleep at least two hours. Emersyn will usually sleep for about two hours too which equals two hours of productivity for mama!!!! He is awake and dozes here and there for the rest of the day but then I make sure to feed him around 8ish and then again around 10-11 and then he is out for the night, usually waking up around 5:30 to eat. I can live with that. I'm starting to feel more *normal* each day too, slowly incorporating things back into life, such as cooking and laundry. These are two areas that have slacked big time since I had Everett and actually since right before I had Everett. :) I made a whole meal for Brett's birthday dinner and it was exhausting, I had forgotten how time consuming cooking is/was. I'll have to post the recipes I made from that night, they were pretty good!


*A wise friend of mine that has two kids told me, "it will never get easier, but it will get better". I think this is such an encouraging and true statement in regards to having more then once child! And I totally agree, it's getting better but certainly not easier. :)

*I have a real estate deal in escrow and I'm jazzed! I love being a Realtor and haven't done a deal in awhile due to being pregnant and the market having slowed down. I love putting on my Realtor *hat* though. This deal is with a friend so I've been able to bring Everett with me to a couple things and not feel entirely unprofessional. Him and I have been working a bit at my office (which is in the same parking lot at Emersyn's preschool, score!!).

*I'm so happy fall is here! I desperately need to change out Emersyn's clothes and go through what will fit next year, what won't and give it away to our two little friends that get Emersyn's hand me downs, and get out the fall stuff. I think fall is finally here to stay! We have three pumpkin patch trips planned that I am looking forward to, two with friends and one with Emersyn's preschool.

*I'm looking for some new crockpot recipes for the fall, anyone have anything yummy?

*Tomorrow night is my first meeting for the women's retreat that I am in charge of for next year. Wish me luck, sometimes I feel like I have no idea what I am doing but I know the Lord has me here for a reason.

My SIX week old!!

Emersyn at 6 weeks old

*I have decided to take off this season from Ladies Bible Study at my church. I really feel like this is such a special season with Everett being so tiny and I want more time to savor him. Emersyn is in preschool Tuesday mornings and I would rush to get her there, rush to get to church, rush to leave church so I could pick her up in time, etc. I think that this is a great time for me to just BE and I'll return after the first of the year. After I made this decision, I was really happy about it. I do well in life when I have things on my calendar but too often, I over book myself and the week passes and I feel like it was just a blur. This is such a short season in my life having little kids and I don't want it to fly by without me making the most of it.

*I am going to participate in an online book club reading Angie Smith's, "What Women Fear". I am excited to read this book kind of in place of doing the study this fall. This will be more at my own pace and less of a commitment. I really struggle with fear, especially with having a newborn again and reading things constantly about SIDS, pediatric cancer, etc. I am eager to read what Angie has to say about this, having gone through one of my worst fears in life in losing a child. The book club is at inCourage.me if you want to read along.

Okay, I think that is it for now. I'm sure this is scattered and hardly makes any sense but it's an update and that's what several of you asked for. :)